Writer In The Dark
by loadofschmidt
Summary: Jessica Day is a strong and powerful woman and she will NOT take Nick Miller back without a fight. Based off of the last ep of season 6, but the reunion isn't so rushed (jk love you Liz).
1. Chapter 1

**So I promise this was originally meant to be a one shot and I got way too carried away. Nothing special, just a little AU on how the season 6 finale could have gone down (plus like a tonne more). I understand some of you may feel it's a little out of character, particularly from Jess's perspective. It's just that I wanted to give her the chance of being strong powerful woman Jessica Day that we all knew she could be.**

 **I'll add chapter notes along the way, but for now, enjoy!**

* * *

"I'll just cut to it guys, Pepperwood and Jessica Knight will never get together."

Jess's couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks as she rushed to the door of the library without taking a moment to look back.

That was it. This idea she had in her head of a romantic and passionate reunion in the middle of Nick's pepperwood reading had crumbled to pieces alongside her heart.

 _Nick's dumb_ , she convinced herself as she stopped just outside the door. _If he doesn't realise how lucky he would be to have me again, he's the crazy one._

She took a deep breath as the tears came to a slow stop, reaching into her pocket to catch her phone ringing and Nick's name popping up on the screen.

It took her a second of hesitation. _Self-control, Jessica Day_ , she tried to talk herself into putting the phone back into her coat pocket but just couldn't let this last chance slip away. She loved him _that much._

"Hey this is crazy but, were you just at my reading? You're not in LA are ya?"

"No… uh… I'm in Portland with my Dad." Jess's words were so weak that she was sure he would see right through them.

"Jess." Nick's tone turned borderline stern as his heartrate picked up. _I'm a fucking idiot,_ he thought as he shook his head.

"Okay Nick, so I might have been at your reading." The tears began to fall again and she could hear him recognise it straight away as he let off a sigh across the phone line.

"And Jess." He took a deep breath. "Where are you now?"

"It doesn't matter. I'll see you when you get home." And with that, she hung up.

* * *

Nick knew he should have left the library and gone straight home. He knew he should have chased after her and tried to sort this shit out once and for all. But something was stopping him and he couldn't put his finger on what it was. Maybe it was the fact that as soon as he had realised she left, he couldn't get her off of his mind. The minute he found out she had run away to Portland, he had finally opened his eyes to how much he needed that woman in his life. And maybe that scared the shit out of him.

"Dammit Nick!" He slammed his hand against the park bench a little harder than he should have.

"What am I gonna do, Tran?" Nick put his hands to his face as he let out a sigh.

"Out of all the people in the world I could have hurt, why did it have to be Jessica Day." He started to laugh but not a real genuine laugh. A laugh at himself. A painful laugh like he knew he had screwed up BIG time and his brain was trying to justify it for his heart.

Tran just looked at him. To any normal person walking down the street it would have seemed like just any plain old look. But to Nick, it triggered a huge sigh and a nod of the head.

"You're right. I'm just scared of hurting her… Hurting me. I don't know. I thought the door was closed you know? How was I supposed to know?" He mumbled, defeat so obvious in his voice.

"Tran, what happens if I go home and she's crying? I've seen Jess cry before, sure, even recently. But now? Now I know why she's crying. Because of stupid old Nick Miller that stuck his dumb and superficial relationship in her face for months. Tran, I had sex across the hall from her!" He was talking fast now, his words becoming one huge drabble, leaving his mouth at a million miles an hour. "I wandered around the loft in fucking fairy land while my BEST FRIEND was completely alone. But the worst part? She tried to help me. She did a typical Jessica Day and put my feelings in front of her own. Sending me off to New Orleans with Reagan because she thought that was what I wanted. Damn. I wish I had known what she wanted."

He stood up and patted Tran on the shoulder.

"Wish me luck, pal."

* * *

Nick was wrong. Jess wasn't crying when he got home. In fact, Jess wasn't even there when he got home. He pulled out his phone and hovered his finger over her phone number but quickly decided against it, scrolling up to call Cece instead.

"Cece, where's Jess?" He tried to sound calm but he couldn't pull it off.

"Hi Nick, how's it going?"

"C'mon Cece, please!"

"She's here, with me. And she's fine. You don't have to worry; she'll be home later." Cece's tone was super matter-of-fact and it made Nick stomach flip over and over.

"Well, you see Cece, I have some things I need to talk to her about. Some things that can't really wait." Nick heard Patrick Swayze's voice fade into the distance as Cece clearly moved out of the room.

"Look Nick, I know you're a great guy. You're her best friend and that's serious, coming from me… But honestly, you've sat back and watched her hurt for months and you're only just putting things together now? That scares me. Sure, it's probably none of my business, but when Jess comes to my door, crying her eyes out saying it's over and she's considering moving to Europe or anywhere that's not here, I feel like it's my responsibility to step in."

The phone line went silent for a moment.

"We all screwed up, Nick. I should have been there for her when you were shoving your dumb Reagan drama in her face. She's always there for us and we weren't there for her. And now we have to pay for it."

"You're right. She needs someone who can give her everything she deserves."

Cece let off a sarcasm filled chuckle and paused for a moment.

"You wanna know your problem, Miller?" Her voice had a sudden pissed off vibe to it.

"You always go on and on about what Jess 'needs'. But here's the thing; she doesn't need you. She doesn't need anyone. Jessica Day is a strong and independent woman who fell in love with a guy who couldn't learn to love himself. You gotta admit it, Nick. The reason you didn't work the first time was because you thought she needed someone to rely on, shoes you couldn't fill. But the thing you never seemed to get your loser head around was that she _wanted_ you, she didn't _need_ you. She can survive without you, Miller, she just didn't want to."

"I don't, I-"He was speechless as the truth from Cece's words crashed down on his shoulders.

"She'll be home soon, Nick. I'm sorry." And with a deep sigh the line was cut.

* * *

A few hours later, Jess turned the handle to the loft for the first time since before she took off to Portland. Her hair was neat and her eyes so fresh, no one would have guessed she'd just spent the past three hours sobbing.

"Winston!" She cheered as her eyes met his concerned gaze. "How's my favourite man-in-uniform?" She chuckled as she skipped to the kitchen to wrap him in a perky and way too enthusiastic hug.

"No, Jess, how are you?" He pulled her back with his hands on her arms and his eyes staring to her soul.

"Please, I'm all out of tears, okay? I feel better, ready to move on." She gave him her best attempt at a convincing nod and took a seat on the nearest bench stool.

"You know Jess, I feel really bad. Cece told me what happened and I just- I should have been there; you know?" He leaned across the bench towards her. "I was a really shitty friend, Jess."

"Winston, I'm serious, I'm fine! It's all out of my system and I –" Her speech was interrupted as she saw the light leave Nick's bed room and enter the hall.

Clearing her throat and focussing back on Winston, she began from where she left off.

"I'm moving out." The words came out so fast but once they did she couldn't help the smile of relief that took over her cheeks.

Winston looked at her for a moment and then turned to face the frozen solid body that stood only a few meters away.

"I'm sorry, you're what?" Nick's face went from stunned to angry as he tried to catch her eyes which had settled on the coffee mug in front of Winston.

"Nick, just chill for a second." Winston faced his palms to Nick's intensifying stare on Jess, but she still didn't move a muscle.

"I'm moving out." She said again, this time even more confidently than before and with an already established smile, she met his eyes. "You know, it's time for this old gal to change things up a little."

"You're not moving out, Jessica." He didn't see the light in her tone, in fact, the whole room seemed to be getting progressively darker, alongside his thoughts.

"It's fine, Nick. I'll still swing by the bar and stuff. I think we all just need some space from each other, you know? Anyway, I'd better get packing! Nadia leaves tomorrow and the landlord doesn't want the place to be empty for too long." And with that she left him dead still in the middle of the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

He missed having her around from the moment she left.

The way she would leave a light on for him when he was getting home late from the bar. Or how she'd casually put his socks in the drier with hers when she was doing laundry.

Those little 'Jessica Day' things that he always took for granted when she was around. Yep, he missed her real bad.

But as the weeks went on the pain seemed to settle into something that he was almost becoming immune to. It was always there and he had just learned to live with it, even beginning to convince himself maybe she was right, the space had done them good.

That is, until Schmidt decided to throw a party at the loft (despite several 'do it at your own house' debates) and remind him that absence does, in fact, make the heart grow fonder.

* * *

He'd sat in the middle of some ridiculous conversation about how 'Cleveland were the better team in the World Series' and he didn't even have the focus to argue it. He hadn't been able to drag his eyes from the front door for more than ten seconds at a time, his mind praying she wouldn't walk through it, but his heart begging for just the opposite.

Just as his mind had begun celebrating with another round of shots, Cece wandered through the door, arm in arm with the source of his pain, in the flesh.

He stood up instantly, like a member of the royal family had just entered the room. And the way his heart was pounding, she may as well have been.

"Nick!" She smiled as she made a direct line towards him. Placing her hands on his shoulders and reaching up to kiss him on the cheek, like they hadn't gone from seeing each other every day for six years to not at all in three weeks.

His reflexes completely compromised by the instant fire of her touch, he put his hands on her hips, slightly delayed, and allowed his lips to meet her opposite cheek.

It was awkward. He knew it was. But she didn't even respond. Instead she just giggled and gave his shoulder a pat.

"You look good, Miller! Staying out of trouble, I imagine?" She gave him what was kind of a wink, the smile still plastered on her face.

"Thanks, Jess, you look, uh beaut-"

"Well I'll be damned! Girl, where you been hiding?" Winston swooped in and gave her a hug before Nick could stutter out his corny line.

"We've missed having you around, right Nick?" Winston tried to diffuse the very one sided tension going on and it took Nick a minute to shake his stare.

"So much." Was all he could manage as she turned her head to look at him, nothing but sincerity in her eyes and gentleness on her lips.

"I won't lie to you, the one bedroom, one bath room life is rough!" She laughed, but her eyes continued to study his face.

* * *

A few drinks later, Nick had pent up the courage to talk to her again. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say but he just needed to say something.

"Jess!" He placed his hand gently on her arm, interrupting a conversation she was having with Cece and a group of models.

"Nick." She smiled turning to face him, that genuine smile reaching her lips once again.

"Before, what I was gonna say, you look really beautiful." His words were fast as he let his gaze slip up her perfectly smooth legs to her perfectly fitted black dress. "Really, Jess, so beautiful."

She couldn't help but blush as she quickly laughed it off, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

"What's been happening, Miller?" He swallowed deep, hearing her say his name like that. Another thing he had taken for granted.

"Work, sleep, work, sleep."

She nodded.

"Sounds familiar" She paused for a moment, clearly racking her brain for a topic to ease the tension. "But seriously, did you see the walking dead last week?"

And with that, their conversation headed towards charted territory. With every word things began to feel more and more normal, like a fresh beginning. Jess wasn't shying away from reaching out and touching him or fluttering her eyelids every now and again. He was about to label it flirting, his brain ticking over and over with the fact that maybe she hadn't taken it as hard as he had thought. Until Jess paused for a minute.

"Another drink, Miller?" she shifted slightly in her spot on the couch, her knees no longer resting against his.

"Oh, uh, yeah, thanks Jess, that'd be great." And with that, she grabbed his beer bottle and headed towards the esky.

Jess took a new bottle and began refilling her glass. It was hard for her to put her feelings to the side, but she had spent the past few weeks convincing herself to get over him and it seemed to be working. Sitting and chatting to him like old times was great, but to her fresh outlook on life and the whole 'love' situation, she was more than happy to keep it at just that. Friends catching up with friends. Taking a look back towards the couch, she took him in. He was sitting there comfortable, sweater tucked in the way she used to like it, staring contently at the window in front of him.

It was written all over his face. Every time he focused on her touch or over thought the words she was speaking. She knew she had to tone it down before he got the wrong idea. She was done getting hurt by him and she wouldn't let a little careless drinking and conversation convince her otherwise.

 _Perfect_. She thought to herself as she took one more quick look at him sitting patiently on the couch and then another at the good looking guy scooping ice to her right. _I'll prove I'm over him._

* * *

Todd, she thought he said his name was, seemed to be a nice guy. They had been chatting for no longer than about ten minutes, standing by the ice bucket, when Jess noticed Nick had disappeared from his spot.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on the beer bottle that she was still holding onto to and another hand on the small of her back.

"Nick" He took his hand off her back and held it out towards Jess's 'new friend'.

"Todd" He returned the hand shake, looking between the two in front of him rather confused.

Jess wasn't dumb. She knew exactly what was going on and wasn't going to stand for it.

"Todd is Schmidt's old personal trainer." Jess jumped away from Nick's close proximity to place a hand on Todd's arm.

Nick's attitude had switched from loser guy pining over his ex-girlfriend to jealous ex-boyfriend watching every move she made. Todd couldn't even get a word in. Jess was one hundred percent talking for this guy she had only just met and Nick was coming back twice as hard every time.

"Todd loves to cook."

"Cooking? Pfff. I mix alcohol. Real, hard alcohol."

"Todd was on the Price is Right."

"In 1992, I caught a foul ball at Wrigley Field."

Clearly uncomfortable with whatever performance was going on in front of him, Todd cleared his throat, causing Nick and Jess to separate the intense stare that was going on between them and turn it towards Todd.

"I think I'm just gonna, uhh.." He pointed towards where Schmidt had taken up camp on the couch and started heading in that direction.

"Nick! What the hell?" Jess had the most infuriated look in her eye as she stared into his eyes for a moment, before storming off towards her old bedroom and slamming the door behind her.

Nick stared up to the roof for a minute, letting out a deep sigh. _Get it together, Miller._

* * *

Building up the courage to knock on her 'old' door, brought back all kinds of memories that made him bite back the tears. All the times they would fight and he knew he could find her just across the hall. Every time he thought about making a move, from the minute she had moved in, he couldn't count on his fingers and toes the amount of times he had wanted to bust through the door and kiss her lifeless.

But this time it was different.

She wasn't _his_ Jess anymore. She had packed her bags and alongside them packed up her 'best friend/ always there' Jessica Day that he never even knew he needed. Until she was gone.

"Jess..." He croaked as he began to turn the handle.

She didn't respond. Instead she just looked out of her window. Her window. Or at least the window that once witnessed all of her best memories as well as her worst. But this Jessica Day wasn't going to let it get her down. She had made the right move and how Nick acted with Todd, she knew she was right.

"Todd seemed like a great guy, but looks like you put your big, ugly, Nick Miller foot in that one." She turned around to meet his submissive eye, leaning her back against the window sill.

"To hell if you would ever actually consider dating a jack ass like that guy, Jess." He didn't know how to act. His mood was going back and forward from pining to pissed off like a yoyo.

"Shut up, Nick. You've never once been able to work out what I want."

And that was it. One second later and they're screaming at each other again, in true Nick and Jess form. Like really screaming. Pointless screaming about the moon and something about being a truck driver and dancing lessons and then suddenly there was just a foot between them.

"Don't." Jess barely whispered, staring back and forth from his eyes to his lips. But Nick? His eyes were dead set on her lips.

"Now you shut up, Jess." And then they were kissing. Like that kiss with the fish tank that felt like a million years ago.

It was rough and messy and so totally Nick and Jess. And it went on for a minute longer than it should have.

"Nick, stop it." her mumble vibrated through his lips but her own mind lacked the conviction that it needed to actually put a stop to it.

Until she remembered who she was. The new Jess, that could kiss a man, even a man she used to be so desperately in love with, and not let her heart feel a thing.

"Nick." She said again but this time she meant it. Hands finding their way from the spot around his neck to the middle of his chest, pushing his off of her with one solid thrust.

His brain was doing somersaults inside of his skull and all he could think about was how good this was. He'd got to kiss her again. He'd got to pour all of his pent up emotions from the past three weeks, probably even longer, into this one moment. And at that point he had truly believed everything was going to be okay. Until he heard her laugh.

"Jesus, we are idiots." She laughed again and suddenly all the sexual tension that had surrounded them deteriorated into the atmosphere.

"What's that supposed to mean?" His voice was raspy and clearly still lost in what had just happened when she stood up from the window sill, hands still on his chest and walked him back for a moment.

"Nick." She looked at him, head tilted, a soft smile on her lips.

"That meant nothing to you? Are you gonna try and blame it on the alcohol? Or the weather? Come on, Jess, you can't seriously tell me you weren't dying for that to happen from the moment you walked through the door." He was mad again. And it made him even madder that she had this sympathetic look on her face.

She swallowed hard and looked him deep in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, Nick." And with that, he stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3 (pt1)

**So, even though the story is rated 'm', which is usually enough warning, I thought I would split this chapter into two in case some people wanted to opt out on the smut (it would be a big mistake because it is truly amazing). So if you are wishing to protect your innocence, skip the chapter after this one and remember, they had sexy time.**

 **IMPORTANT: I'm probably the worst smut writer known to man, so it's safe to say, I didn't even attempt it. However, this fandom is full of some pretty COOL and TALENTED people, particularly trueblue988 (known as whatsmypogo on tumblr) and I was lucky enough to have her put together a raunchy little piece for this fic. Thanks so much banAnna, you smashed this and I can't wait to force you to write more porn for me in the future. (Go search her up on here later.)**

* * *

A couple of days went by and she hadn't heard from him. Not that she had heard from him a whole lot since the moment she moved out of the loft. But these last few days, the guilt had been settling in. She didn't feel guilty for telling him that the kiss meant nothing to her, because she was telling the truth as far as her mind was concerned. Instead, she felt guilty that he didn't have her to talk to anymore. Talk to about the pain he was feeling, what was going through his head, even how his day had been going. That little part of Nick that liked to talk, the part she had spent their entire length of their relationship trying to expose to the world.

So that little guilty part of Jessica Day decided to act upon it.

 _I really am sorry, Nick. About the party._

She hit send on her phone before she had even had a moment to think it through. It was getting late, she had had a couple of glasses of wine, she felt like letting her guard down for bit. Unleashing that best friend, Jess, that she had missed being.

* * *

His phone buzzed on the table next to his bed and he rolled over with a lack of enthusiasm. Sitting up quickly when he saw the name on his screen, a harsh reminder that she was no longer just across the hall.

He took a deep breath and contemplated whether or not it was worth a reply, when her name popped up again.

 _Are you okay?_

He had to laugh at that. Typical Jessica Day couldn't even pretend to be a bad friend for more than a week.

 _I'm sorry too, Jess._

Was all he replied. His brain ticked over and over of what she would say next but all that appeared was an address. Followed by another message.

 _I'm in apartment 2C. If you wanna talk, you know where to find me._

* * *

Not even twenty minutes later, he was doing that thing that he tends to do with Jess's doors. Hovering his hand in front of it, considering everything that might be wrong with what he's doing right now.

Just as he had finally built up the courage to knock, the door flung open.

"You scared the shit out of me." He put a hand to his chest dramatically as his eyes went wide. She just laughed. Relief clear in her voice.

"Welcome to my bachelor pad, Nicholas!" She let go of the door as she spun towards the middle of the small, but very 'jess' looking apartment.

"I like it." He chuckled as he left his shoes by the door. "It's very 'you', Jess."

She smiled at that. And maybe her smile also came from the fact his tone was so very 'Nick'. Cool, calm and collected. She missed him.

She grabbed him a beer and threw a packet of chips to his chest.

"Make yourself at home, Miller." She pointed him towards the vintage looking two seater that faced the little tv across the lounge space.

"I can't believe you haven't been over before!" She sat facing him cross legged on the couch, like a little girl ready for her parents to read her a story.

"Well, things haven't exactly been 'normal', over the past few weeks. You kinda did just up and leave." He didn't look at her when he said the last bit. Just focussing on the fact she had stocked the fridge with his favourite beer. Beer she didn't even like to drink herself.

"I really have missed you, Nick. I've missed my best friend."

It went silent for a moment. Both of them thinking about the next move.

"It really hurts you know? The last few weeks, my Jess, the girl across the hall, went M.I.A."

"I know what that's like." She looked at him raw. Her eyes as big as he could have sworn they had ever been. Her body covered in her favourite flannelette pyjamas. He bit his lip, the sudden realisation of exactly how she must have felt when he left to New Orleans, really sinking in.

"It sucks, Nick. Sometimes the people we love, just… don't love us back the way we love them."

"But Jess, I do, I mean, I-"She interrupted him by placing a hand on his knee and shaking her head softly.

"It's different now. For me, anyway. I'm the new and improved Jessica Day. The girl that doesn't let herself fall anymore unless she is sure. I'm that girl now. Not afraid to make the first move, meaningless sex on a week night, the new and improved single and sufficient. But Nick, more than anything, I want to be your best friend again."

He took a long slug of his beer, still avoiding the fire her eyes were casting on the side of his head.

"Look at me." She said, so soft and fragile, like every word was bringing her closer to giving in. "Please Nick."

He turned his head slowly, meeting her eyes.

"I love you, Nick. But I need to be happy. I need you to be happy. We can't make each other happy."

The hurt in his eyes matched the hurt in hers and they stayed locked together like a pair of magnets. Both of them just absorbing every detail, not being able to drag themselves away if they tried.

"I want my best friend back too." His voice was like nothing she had ever heard before. The intensity of their eye contact drawing out this new, fragile version of him and her heart shattered into a million pieces with every slow and dragged out blink he made.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as he began to shift his body towards hers a little more. Her going back with him, her back almost leaning on the arm of the chair behind her.

"Me too." His whisper as quiet as hers.


	4. Chapter 3 (pt2)

**All aboard the smut city express.**

* * *

They lingered in silence, eyes locked, when almost by force their lips found each other. But this, this was different than their clandestine moment in the loft. These kisses were slow, deep, and wet. Kisses so heavy Jess felt as though Nick might devour her. Jess let out low moans.

Nick's hands found her waist, and he picked her up to straddle him. Jess' hair cascaded around them. They pressed foreheads together. Eyes stuck like magnets. A mixture of thrill and uncertainty.

Their lips crashed together again. She deliciously sucked his bottom lip, in a way she knew drove him crazy. She felt Nick harden under her. His large hands enthusiastically rubbed up and down her back, around her waist, and up to cup her breasts. Jess missed this. She missed the swelling of his pants, the way he growled softly when she kissed his neck and ran her fingers through his hair, the way they fit together. It became so intense Jess knew something would have to give.

"Bedroom." Jess moaned between breaths and he didn't hesitate. Picking her up until he fumbled towards the bed, unbuttoning her pyjama top and throwing it to the floor. The back of Nick's knees hit the bed. Jess tore off his shirt. He paused for a moment to savour her beauty.

"Oh my god, Jess." He said in one airy breath.

"Shut up."

She flashed him a smirk and slipped out of her bottoms, as Nick quickly removed his own pants and laid back. She bit her bottom lip. Nick Miller, Nick Miller.

She had almost forgotten how impressive Nick's penis was. She licked slowly up his shaft giving his tip wet sloppy kisses. She traced her tongue up his body, finally sitting so her knees were on each side of his head. He swirled his tongue as she let out hard moans. He gripped her ass. She grabbed the headboard for support and arched her back. The pleasure was overwhelming. He kissed and sucked her most sensitive areas. She exhaled hard, "NICK, ugh NICK!" she cried. Suddenly she sprang backwards. They found themselves face to face as she lowered herself onto him. He let out a loud and satisfied moan. She rode him hard.

She rode him hard until... "oooh Nick!" her body quivered and weakened under her intense orgasm. Without skipping a beat, Nick had flipped her on her back. He pressed his body against hers and began pumping in and out. They were always so incredibly in sync. They moved in ways only two people with a deep connection would know how.

Nick sat up on his heels so he could watch Jess. She looked at him and smiled as he slid in and out, deep and hard to make her tremble. Feeling her walls tighten around him again was all he could take before erupting deep inside of her and collapsing next to her soft, warm body. Panting heavily, they looked at each other and smiled.


	5. Chapter 4

Nick woke up with his arm draped over her waist and he suddenly felt a wave of nerves rush over his body.

It was mixed feelings, really. Half of his mind replaying over and over how thankful he was to be so close to her again, how his entire life felt so perfectly in place compared to the last few weeks. Or maybe even years. But the other half couldn't be so content. The other half couldn't stop stressing about what was going to happen as soon as she opened her eyes and found him sleeping there besides her. After spending what felt like hours discussing how they were drawing the line at best friends, he could only imagine the fight that was about to erupt.

But in that exact moment, he wasn't going to wake her up. He wanted to delay the conversation for as long as he could and simply enjoy the feel of holding the love of his life in his arms.

* * *

Not ten minutes later he felt Jess begin to shuffle a little in his embrace and couldn't help the small smile that fell on his lips. That feeling felt so new but at the same time so beautifully familiar.

She opened her eyes right into his and paused for a second before closing them again and scrunching up her face with a blushed smile.

"Good morning, Nicholas." She turned in his arms so her face was only a couple of centimetres from his.

With a laugh he pulled her hips in closer to him and unable to resist, placed a quick, soft kiss to her lips.

"None of that." She giggled, pushing him off of her and hopping out of bed.

"I know Schmidt said to never have breakfast with your one-night stand, but how does pancakes sounds?" And without giving him a chance to question it, she had thrown on her robe and headed towards the kitchen.

* * *

"Good to see you've still got it, Jess." He told her across the kitchen table as he shovelled down a mouthful of pancakes.

"I'm glad you think so! Funny story actually, I changed the recipe and I –"

"I'm talking about in bed, you idiot." He looked confused at her for a moment before rolling his eyes and laughing it off.

"Ooooh…" She did that cute thing she does when she's embarrassed, scrunching up her face. "Definitely as good as I remember."

It went quiet for a moment as they both looked to the plates in front of them.

"Look, Nick" She broke both the silence and his heart with those two words. "I meant what I said last night and the other day... That was fun, like really, mind-blowingly, fun… But it's not what I want from you. Best friends don't have sex…"

"Oh, and that's all we are, right? Best friends? With absolutely no attached feelings?" His voice was pissed off and his stare was challenging.

She took a moment to analyse every detail of his face. She knew he had a right to be angry. The feelings were as present as ever but that wasn't going to be enough for her. Not after all the pain that the last year put on her.

"Let's just say we're two people who wanna be friends but are sometimes attracted to each other." She gave him a sad smile as he nodded his head and looked back to his pancakes.

"Jess, I think... I think I need some time before we can be 'friends' again. It's different to how it was then, you and I both know it is." He got up from the table and headed towards the door.

"Nick, wait, come on I think we should just –" She stood up to go after him but was interrupted by his eyes meeting hers again. This time they were almost damp. His soft grey shirt was tucked loosely into his jeans and his hair was a mess. She couldn't believe this was the same man that walked into her apartment not even twelve hours ago.

"Maybe we do need space more than I thought." His voice was suddenly so rough and low, almost defeated. "Thanks for breakfast and… yeh." And with that he closed the door behind him.

Jess stood in front of the door and rubbed her eyes. She knew this whole process wasn't going to be easy but so far it was proving to be even more difficult than she had imagined.

Pulling out her phone she sent a text to Cece.

 _Moving on sucks._

 _Lunch?_ Cece replied less than a minute later.

* * *

"Wait? You fucked him right after you told him you didn't want him?" Cece put her fork back on her plate and her eyes went wide.

"Shut up." Jess looked at Cece disapprovingly. "It just happened! One minute we were talking about how we aren't right for each other and the next we were taking each other's clothes off." A smile came over her lips when she said that last part.

"You know the most important thing for me is your happiness, Jess, but he makes you happy. Look at that smile? That is the smile of a girl who has just had some quality sexy time with a guy she's into."

"Quality sexy time?" Jess mushed up her face. "You sound more and more like your husband by the minute."

"What I'm trying to say is, maybe you shouldn't be fighting it."

"No Cece! You were meant to tell me I'm doing the right thing! I was the pathetic girl across the hall pining for my 'taken' ex-boyfriend for way too long. I'm doing this for me and the year I spent listening to him having sex next door. And so what? I had a night of nostalgic, hot sex with my old boyfriend. I got it out of my system." The way Jess rushed her words made it all the more obvious she was trying to convince herself.

"Every bone in my body says I want him to go through what you went through. I swear to God, I'm on your team 100%. But please, please, don't hurt him like he hurt you. You love him, Jess. Even if that's not the kind of love either of you want it to be. He's still Nick and you're still Jess. At the end of the day, you're soulmates."


	6. Chapter 5

Jess had left him a million texts, calls and voicemails. Sure it might seem desperate to some, but really she just couldn't live with the idea he might be trying to cut her out. After all, Cece was right. They were still them and she still wanted him in her life.

After a week had passed and she still had no reply, she decided to stop by the loft and see if she could catch him there.

She could hear a loud noise coming from inside so decided to bypass the whole knocking thing and pull out her old key that she had never given back.

"Nick?" She called out, shutting the door behind her and heading towards the source of the noise which seemed to be in Nick's bedroom.

"Nick are you vacuum-… Schmidt what the hell are you doing here? You don't even live here anymore?"

Looking rather amused, Schmidt replied "And I could ask the exact same to you, Miss Day."

"Touche." She chuckled, stepping over the vacuum cord to take a seat on Nick's bed.

"Are you cleaning Nick's room?" She looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Well Jessica, we couldn't expect Winston to keep on his back about his general hygiene now could we? Winston is all he has now!" Schmidt didn't mean it how it came out but it made Jess wince just the same. Looking down at the bed beneath her, she ran her hand along the quilt cover, taking in the essence that was everything Nick.

"What's going on, Jess?" Schmidt took off his dust mask and took a seat next to her. "Why are you here?"

"Oh please, like Cece hasn't told you."

"All my beautiful wife and I have discussed is how you were moving on. Last time I checked you were cutting loose ends with the old boy, ready to start your new life as a heartless wrench?" He laughed and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, coaxing her to look at him. "Look, Jess, you two really do need to talk."

"Why do you think I'm here, Schmidt? Why do you think I busted through the door? To sit on his bed and ponder life? No, Schmidt. I'm here because he won't answer my calls. I just need to hear his voice; you know?" She took a deep breath and hesitated on how to justify the sudden outburst. "I miss my friend."

* * *

Nick got home from work a few hours after Jess had left.

"Schmidt what the f-"He jumped at the sight of Schmidt turning out of the bathroom, expecting to have the loft to himself.

"Nicholas, don't you dare talk to me like I didn't pay every damn bill around here for the past decade." Nick shook his head as he threw his keys on the table and headed to the fridge for a beer.

"Plus, you don't seem to have a problem with other ex-roommates stopping by, do you?"

"What's the supposed to mean?" He took a slug from his beer before passing one to Schmidt. "Honestly man, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Your little girlfriend, Jessica, wandered on in today. While I was disinfecting the quarantine site that is your bed room. Seriously Nick, as proud as I am that you're improving your snack choices, I don't know how many times I need to tell you that banana peels do not go with your bedroom rubbish."

"Wait, did you say Jess was here today?" Nick looked lost, suddenly.

"Yes, Nicholas. Jessica Day. You know the one who used to sleep right down that hallway? You remember her right? The one whose calls you keep ignoring?"

"What else did she say?" He didn't care for Schmidt's smart ass comments at that point.

"She said she misses your voice, man." His tone went a little softer. "I have no idea what's going on with you two, honestly, it blows me away that this whole ordeal hasn't been resolved yet. But whatever it is, Nick, you can't run from it."

Nick rubbed a hand down his face and finished off what was left of his beer.

"I just don't know what to do, you know? We take one step forward and two steps back."

"Jess is like a sister to me, Nick. Apart from the fact both of us have exquisite genes, I mean, you just have to look into our eyes to- "

"Schmidt."

"The whole Reagan thing, Nick? Messed her up a little. Remember when she first moved in. That Spencer guy? And how she cried and cried and cried for who knows how long? She didn't get the chance to grieve when she lost you. She had to bundle it all up and pretend to be happy for you while you skipped along in some magical universe and rubbed it right in her face. She put you first, Nick. She always did. And now she's putting herself first and I gotta say, I'm proud of her."

"So what now? I just gotta give up?" He looked up to the roof for a moment before looking back to Schmidt, every single emotion plastered right across his face. "I know I was dumb. I would do anything to take it all back. Right to that day where I said the break up made sense, all the way to the moment I convinced myself I had moved on. She's Jess, man. I'll never ever have that with anyone, even though I tried to tell myself I would."

Schmidt leaned back on the kitchen bench and took a drink.

"Go be her friend, Nick. Start there. Work your way up." He put his beer on the table and began again. "Remember Fawn?" Nick nodded. "I told myself every day that Fawn was my Cece. That Fawn was the second chance that I wasn't supposed to get and look how wrong I was. Jess is your Cece, man."

"Schmidt, what the hell, I don't want a –" Nick sighed and shook off his disgust.

"You're right. I gotta start over."


	7. Chapter 6

So that's exactly what Nick did.

 _Hey Jess, how are you?_ He ignored every message she had sent him and started fresh. Clean slate.

Within thirty seconds his phone was ringing with her name on the screen.

"Nick?" She said his name but it sounded more like a question.

"Jess, hi." And with that he heard her release a huge sigh. "Look, I'm sorry I've been a little quiet over the past few- "

"It's so good to hear your voice." She interrupted him and he bit his lip in an attempt to hide his smile from the empty room around him.

"Uhh" He laughed as he worked up the courage. "I've got a long shift at the bar starting in an hour. Will provide free booze in exchange for interesting conversational topics."

She was so relieved he couldn't see her face right at that minute because for someone who was so totally over her ex-boyfriend, she was smiling pretty big.

"Oh boy, are you in for a treat!" She laughed. "All this spare time I've had, I'm so up to date with all the celebrity drama!"

"Is it too late to revoke my offer?" He pretended to sound annoyed but it didn't work out to well for him.

"I'll see you soon." Okay, so he definitely would have heard her smile then, she thought.

"See you, Jess."

* * *

When he saw her walk through the door of the bar for the first time in at least a month, it took everything he had to remind himself they were just friends. But when their eyes met and their smiles matched, he let himself get carried away for just the tiniest millisecond.

"Wow, I've missed this place." She took a seat in _her_ stool, just in front of him.

"Yeh, well, a lots changed since you were here last, Jess." Nick put a persuasive look on his face.

"Oh?"

"Yeh you see Lenny, who used to sit right up here? Well, he sits down the back now, 'cause I made him clear his tab and he's holding a grudge."

Jess couldn't help but laugh slightly more excitedly than required, but still 100% genuine. It felt so much like old times already.

"I'll be back with you in just a sec." he gave her a smile and went to serve the other customers who were waiting impatiently, returning only a couple of minutes later to place a glass of her favourite pink wine down in front of her.

"Woah, woah, woah" She chuckled. "If you're gonna start following up on the bar tabs I'm gonna have to start drinking something a lot cheaper."

"Jess, I wouldn't even know how to read the number of dollars you owe this place."

"Hey, I'm nowhere near Schmidt and Winston's bill."

"You did spend a whole lot of time here at one point, I wouldn't be so sure."

She tucked her hair behind her ear before taking a sip of the wine and pausing for a few seconds.

"Well at least this hasn't changed." She laughed and so did he.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Jess, Winston keeps restocking Schmidt's hair salsa or whatever he used to call it!"

"Winston doesn't even have hair, why would he be buying the chutney?"

The conversation was so familiar and comfortable and so was the laughter. Taking a look between his watch and the pair of blue eyes in front of him, he paused for a moment.

"It's getting late, drunky, why don't I call you a cab?" He leaned onto the bar in front of her, entertained by the grumpy look that had just come over her face.

"But, I mean, I was having a good time, weren't you?" He couldn't help but laugh. He had almost missed tipsy Jess as much as he had missed sober Jess.

"It's been one of the best nights I've had around here in months. Maybe even years." His voice was sincere and confident. She was drunk. Who cares.

Her cheeks went red and her lips pursed together in a smile. Finishing her glass in a quick swig she sat it back down on the bar and met his soft eyes which were just taking every ounce of her in.

"Remember that time, like what? Four years ago…" She paused for a minute, eyes gone wide. "Wow, Nick, how long have we known each other?"

"Well, you moved in early March? 2011ish?" He watched as her eyes concentrated hard on his face and she began counting the years on her fingers.

"That's over six years?" She said in disbelief.

"Been one hell of a ride, right?" He laughed as he grabbed her glass and starting wiping down the bar in front of her.

She paused for a second, just watching him, clearly lost in thought.

"How long after we met did we start dating?"

He stopped for a moment too, looking into her eyes for a second too long.

"Well, we first kissed in January." He chuckled, looking down to his hand on the table. "2013."

"I remember that." She smiled shyly, looking to the same spot his eyes were focussed on.

"And then we uncalled it on Cece's 'almost wedding'. February 19th."

"And when did we break up?" She looked up to his eyes, which had begun to suddenly look a little sad.

"I don't know, Jess. I tried to erase that part from my memory." His frown turned to a sad smile as he watched her search his face.

"Do you ever think about, maybe if we hadn't broken up, how things would be now?"

He sighed. If only she knew.

"Sometimes I do, yeah."

"And?" She questioned. "How would things be?"

"Well we would probably have a few little Nick and Jess's running around by now? I mean, Sadie said you had good eggs, right?" She laughed hard for a few moments before he put a glass of water in front of her.

"I think we would still be together." She busted out, suddenly serious and confident, definitely a little sloppy.

"You think so?" He already knew she was right, but he needed to ask anyway.

She nodded, her eyes looking at him from over her glass.

"I think so too."


	8. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry if you all hate me because of how much I'm dragging this on lol...**

* * *

The next morning Jess woke up with a pounding in her head. A little blurry on the events of the night before, she reached over to grab the glass of water on her bedside table, picking up the note that was underneath it.

 _Hey Jess, hope you're not feeling too bad this morning. Thanks for a great night. Give me call if you need anything._

 _Nick xx_

"Oh my god." She moaned, dropping her head back on the pillow. Sober Jess was completely confident she could keep up this act of being over her ex… Drunk Jess was not so sure.

Reaching back to the table she grabbed her phone and started typing up a text.

 _Sorry about last night lol… I'm a little blurry on it..._

He replied before she even had the chance to lock her phone, instantly putting a smile on her face.

 _Figured that might be the case haha. I had to close up and there were no cabs left so I helped you home._

She sighed. Damn Nick Miller and his dreamy boyfriend traits.

 _Thanks Miller. I owe you._

* * *

Nick had somehow ended up sitting next to Jess and across from Cece and Schmidt at some fancy restaurant, two days later.

Schmidt had assured him that they were only invited because his new friend had just bought the business and set aside a table for four, but Nick knew it was one of their little games to get him and Jess back together.

But Nick really didn't mind. In fact, he kind of appreciated Schmidt's support in this whole thing. Plus, any opportunity to spend some time with his 'best friend Jess' was an opportunity he would not pass up on.

Everything was going really smoothly. They all enjoyed the first (and 'on the house') two courses as well as the chance to catch up, just the four of them, like old times.

"So Jess, any men on the horizon?" Schmidt couldn't help but ask, changing the conversation topic completely.

"Umm..." She laughed awkwardly and looked to Cece who was directly in front of her. "I'm just enjoying being single right now, actually."

Schmidt raised an eyebrow. "Jessica Day, enjoying being single? Please." Cece gave him a hard elbow to the ribs, while Nick shifted uncomfortably in his seat beside her.

"What? You guys don't actually believe that, do you?" He looked between Nick and Cece. "C'mon Jess, tell us what you're waiting for."

Jess let out a nervous giggle and put down her fork, staring at Cece for any escape, but all Cece gave her was a nod. She swallowed hard and focussed on Schmidt. She was the new and improved Jessica Day. She knew exactly what she was waiting for.

"I want a guy that's confident. That's in it for the long haul, you know? All of my relationships lately, they just seemed so temporary. Like I was with these guys just to say I was with someone. But I'm not in a rush right now and I'm not worried about being single. I just want to be sure." Jess could feel Nick's eyes boring into the side of her face and it made her straighten up a little in her seat.

She was completely aware that she had set him up. Given him the slightest touch of hope that he could get her back. And so what? The more she had seen of him lately, the old Nick, she had come to realise that maybe time will heal all. Maybe if he sticks around despite her shutting down any thought of a reunion, things could work out. As Cece had put it, they were soulmates.

Schmidt noticed Jess was deep in thought and Nick was still watching her, so he broke the silence.

"Here's to being sure!" He held his glass towards the middle of the table and everyone followed.

Cece looked down at her watch.

"Jess, what time did you say you had to be at that party?"

"Oh crap." Jess grabbed Cece's wrist and looked to the watch.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Nick looked at her with a frown on his face.

"I have to go to this stupid work holiday party that the science teachers are hosting. You know those parties where I stand there awkwardly because no one wants to mingle with the principal." She met Nick's eye for just a moment, almost hinting something to him, but he had never been good at taking hints. Look how long it took him to work out Jessica Day was still in love with him.

"I'm gonna go freshen up." Jess picked her napkin off of her lap and grabbed her purse, Cece was quick to do the same.

"I'll come." She rushed.

"Nicholas, are you stupid?" Schmidt kicked Nick under the table as soon as the girls had left. Nick looked at him, slightly confused.

"Don't look at me like that, Nick. She wants you back. I'm telling you."

"What's that supposed to mean? How could you even gather that?" Nick pretended to be angry at Schmidt's assumptions but couldn't help but feel a little excited that maybe he was right.

"First of all the whole 'none of my last relationships were real' crap she went on about. Yours was real. You two were in it for the long haul." Schmidt smacked his hand down on the table and leaned a little towards Nick. "And don't think we haven't been noticing your little glances back and forth. The stench of filth and lust is all over this room."

"Shut it, Schmidt." Nick rolled his eyes and leaned back on his chair.

"You mean to tell me, you two haven't slept together since you broke up."

"I- ugh- maybe- YOU KNOW WHAT? I don't want to be talking to you about this right now." Nick's voice went into defensive lock down mode and Schmidt's eyes went wide in response.

"Nick Miller! You dirty dog! I told you she wanted you!" Schmidt's smile covered his whole face as he began excitedly on the table. Noticing Nick's mood start to swing back into depressive mode, Schmidt toned it down a little.

"Go with her to the party. Tell her you'll keep her company. Unleash that Nick Miller charm that we all know Jessica Day can't resist. C'mon Nick. Go be _that guy_. You're gonna have to work hard and play dirty flirty, but daddy Schmidt raised his boy right."

"I don't even think I know what she wants anymore." Nick shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"She just told you, Nicholas! She wants the guy that she's going to marry! You are that guy!"

* * *

Jess was reapplying her lipstick when Cece leaned on the sink next to her.

"Care to explain yourself?" Cece laughed as she watched Jess concentrating carefully. "What happened to the 'I'm over Nick Miller' club?"

Jess couldn't help but laugh as well.

"So we hung out the other night and things were really cool."

"And you wanna get back with him?"

"No no no, that's not what I said." Jess met Cece's eyes through the mirror.

"'None of my last relationships', 'I want a guy that's confident'. C'mon Jess, are you playing with him or what?"

"God, no, Cece, I don't wanna hurt him. I guess I just don't want him to stop trying, you know? Maybe after the last few weeks, it'd be dumb to pretend I didn't still have a tiny bit of hope that things could go back to how they were."

"Okay, so you're just gonna let things play out? Give him a chance to prove himself?"

"Exactly." Jess smiled.

* * *

Back at their table, Nick readjusted the collar of his simple navy button up, anxious for her to return.

"Thanks so much for the dinner, Schmidt." She moved around the table to kiss Schmidt on the cheek.

Moving back around past Nick, she gave him a little rub on the shoulders.

"See you soon, Miller" She smiled as he turned his head up to meet her eyes that were looking down on him. He paused for a minute before jumping to his feet.

"Jess, hey, why don't I come to the party with ya? Even the principal needs a hot date." He spat out almost convincingly confident and he could see Schmidt doing a mini fist pump in his seat.

"Uhmmm…" Jess looked to Cece and then back to Nick. Yep okay, she hadn't actually thought out how she was going to respond if he did, in fact, act on her hint. "It'll probably be boring, Nick, honestly, you don't have to come."

"They were never that bad…" He lied and she laughed at that.

"Don't blame me when you're regretting leaving before dessert."


	9. Chapter 8

Nick drove them to the party because she had taken a cab to the restaurant. At least that was a plus side to the sudden nerves that had come over her from the minute he invited himself.

But Nick seemed quite the opposite.

He had managed to keep the conversation flowing, even when Jess hesitated. He even laughed at her cute little mumbling and pauses.

Once they pulled up the drive way, Jess turned the middle console light on, looking into the mirror to fix up her make up yet again. Nick just watched her. With a soft smile on his face.

"Seriously, Jess, you look great."

She turned to meet his eyes and rolled her own.

"You always say that, Nick. Even when I look like the loft troll. It's lost any of its reassuring value." She laughed and looked back in the mirror.

He laughed and shook his head.

"I'm a man of my word, Jessica. If I say I think you look good, I think you look good."

* * *

She was wearing heels and the driveway was rocky and that damn Schmidt voice in his head was yelling at him to channel his inner charm, so he did. When he felt her stumble slightly besides him, he reached out and she paused for just a moment, looking at his hand, before sliding hers into it. Best friends can hold hands, surely.

Walking slightly behind him, hands now clasped tight together, she took him in. He was wearing a puffy bomber's jacket over his shirt and his jeans fitted just nicely. His fashion had really picked up; she'd give him that. His style was casual but still borderline formal enough to get him into that fancy restaurant. _Dammit, Jess._ She mumbled to herself in disapproval when she realised she was staring.

He turned to look at her, squeezing her hand a little.

"Did you say something, Day?" He smirked. He secretly knew she loved when he took the lead, walked a little in front. She always used to comment on how the view was better from behind.

"How long is this driveway." She moaned, clearly a little defensive.

She appreciated his new found confidence but it was already starting to break down hers. Everything was all fine when Nick was being the awkward and shy version. She could convince herself she was over him, then. But when he was the old Nick, the one that gave her the best relationship of her life? Then she started to struggle.

* * *

Finally, they reached the door and she let go of his hand, using her need to knock as an excuse.

An older looking woman that Nick had never met in his life, opened the door, looking to Jess for a moment and then taking Nick in from head to toe.

"Jessica! So glad you could make it!" She pulled Jess in for a hug and Nick smiled at how fake it came off. "And you are?" She held out a hand to Nick who responded by reaching out to meet hers.

"Nick." Was all he said, but his voice was kind of low and rough and it made Jess shift a little uncomfortably on her feet.

"Um, Nick, this is Susan, head of the science department." Jess spoke quick and Nick could tell she was suddenly very nervous. Taking the hand that had just shook Susan's he placed it on the small of her back.

"Nice to meet you, Susan" He smiled and nodded.

* * *

Inside the party, Nick was feeling good. He was walking alongside the boss and he felt a wave of power with all the eyes coming over him. But it definitely wasn't the same for Jess. She was almost hiding behind him as she smiled to her staff, avoiding too much eye contact.

Sensing her discomfort, he turned to her and leaned against the wall.

"Jess, are you okay? Are you mad that I'm here?" He furrowed his brow and ducked a little to meet her eye.

"No! I mean, yeah, I'm okay, but no I'm definitely not mad you're here."

"Then what's going on?"

"These people are terrifying! Look how they glare at me like I'm some evil witch. They hate me, Nick." Her voice was kind of whiny and he had to focus hard to not smile at that.

"Oh my god, Jess, you can't be serious?" Then he let himself laugh and she looked down at their feet. "Jess." He lifted her chin to meet his eyes and sure, maybe it was a little too boyfriendy, but it wasn't about that. This really was Nick entering Jess's best friend mode.

"Just relax, okay? You're the best person in this room, I promise you. They're just intimidated by you." She nodded her head and met his eyes.

"Seriously though, if they wanna act like jerks, just fire them? Fire them all." She rolled her eyes and laughed.

This was Nick Miller in his purest form. This was the Nick Miller that she remembered from when she lost her job or when was having trouble fitting in at her new school.

"Let's go get a drink and then we can pick who we're firing." He turned her around and put his hands on her shoulders, guiding her to where the drink table was. She couldn't help but laugh at what a pair of idiots they would have looked like.

* * *

Nick and Jess stood in the corner for a little while, just observing while Jess told stories of each of her co-workers. It made Nick think back to that party Raegan dragged him to and how uncomfortable he felt the entire time he was there. It was always so different hanging out with Jess. Even when she was nervous, she gave off this warm and approachable vibe. Every time she spoke he realised more and more how insignificant the past year of his life was.

They were laughing over something she had said, when suddenly a familiar face came into view.

"Oh my god, Jess!" The small blonde pulled Jess in for a much more genuine hug than the last one and then stepped back to pull Nick in for one too.

"Nick, you remember Rose." Jess gestured towards her and Nick blinked a couple of times, still taken back from the drunken hug he had been dragged into.

"Oh yeh, great so see you again." He smiled. _Damn, I'm good at being the principal's plus one._ He thought. "I didn't realise you had moved schools with Jess."

"I was looking for a job a couple of months back and this big boss over here managed to find a spot for me! Didn't you, Jess?" She said over excitedly.

"We're super lucky to have you." Jess smiled. It made her all too nostalgic of those times back at her old school. When Nick would stop by and have lunch with her and small talk with her colleagues.

"How about you two, though?" They both knew Rose was desperate to ask. "Jessica Day! You never told me you and this stud were back together!"

Nick raised his eyebrows and looked at Jess who had stepped a little closer to him, almost defensively.

"Oh, me and Nick?" Jess hesitated and Nick continued to watch her, curious as to why she hadn't already jumped in and made clear what she had been making clear to him for the past few weeks. They were just friends.

"Are you not back together? Because if not, I know some ladies who would love to meet you." Rose winked at him and he laughed in amusement. Now Jess was standing even closer, leaning her weight back on him protectively. She took a second to look around the room and the women that were, in fact, keeping an eye on the very attractive man that stood next to her.

"No, we are definitely back together. Right Nick?" She spoke so quick and didn't dare look back at him, knowing he was going to be finding this way too entertaining.

"I just couldn't stay away for long." He chuckled, taking full advantage of how she was clearly refusing to look back at him and wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

He knew maybe it was a step too far, but hey, she started it.

"That's a shame." Rose laughed. "I was thinking how risky it was for you to bring such a good looking, single man like Nick to a party like this."

Jess felt Nick's chest rumble in a low laughter against her back, causing her to subtly roll her eyes and nudge his stomach.

"Great to see you both again, anyway." Rose patted Jess on the arm and began to turn away.

Jess began to squirm in Nick's embrace and he couldn't help the laughter that left his lips causing her to turn around to face him, his arms still on her waist.

"Cock block." Nick joked causing Jess to slap his face lightly.

"Shut up." She said, pretending to be pissed off. "You don't want any of them women anyway, trust me." He laughed again and then looked at her a little more seriously. She was still in his arms, their bodies pressed together.

"You're right, I don't." She rolled her eyes and softly pushed him off of her.

"So smooth, Mr Miller." She giggled as she mentally high fived herself for regaining self-control.

"I think it's about time you introduce your boyfriend to your employees." He chuckled giving her a nudge.

"You're the worst." She shook her head and tried to refrain from smiling too big.

* * *

As much as she hated to admit it, she was so grateful he had come with her.

He was polite and confident and definitely nailing the small talk, something she found difficult with this crowd.

He talked about the bar and Chicago, even taking every opportunity he had to talk Jess up in front of everyone.

Like when they had managed to get into some conversation with whom Jess had referred to as 'the popular crowd' earlier in the night. The women where uncomfortably flirty with him and every time they made a comment, he would be sure to rub Jess's arm or play with a piece of her hair.

Jess was really loving it. Not only because he had improved her cool factor by a million, being the hot confident date to the party. But it also made her feel kind of giddy having him back in her life like this. Even if it was only pretend. Him being old, reliable Nick, pulling through when she needed a confidence boost or some support. She forgot how good it was having him around. Plus all those little touches and flirty comments he was leaving her made her a little twirly, but she would never tell him that.

It was about midnight when Jess had begun to rub her arms and stand in close to him.

"Are you cold, Jess?" He whispered into her ear and she nodded back without hesitation.

"And tired." She mumbled.

"It was lovely to meet you all, but I think it's time for me to take my woman home." Nick announced to the group that had joined the conversation. He took off his jacket and slipped it over her shoulders. It made a shiver run down Jess's spine and Nick smiled at the success of his smooth move.

* * *

Everyone said their goodbyes and Nick and Jess headed hand in hand to the car, not even letting go once they left the front door. He opened the car door for her and helped her inside. He forgot how difficult sober Jess had found staying up late. It made him laugh softly as she yawned and struggled to get her seatbelt on.

The drive home was quiet as Jess dosed off beside him. With the radio playing quietly in the background he couldn't help getting lost in thought and sneaking a peak over at her every now and again.

"Shit." Nick mumbled as he realised he was pulling up to the loft.

"Nick?" Jess opened her eyes as he broke the quiet.

"I swear to god, Jess, this was an accident. I wasn't concentrating and –"She interrupted his nervous little speech with a laugh as she realised what had happened.

"Seriously Nick, it's fine, I'll just crash here tonight, if that's okay with you?" Her voice was lazy and it made him relax a little.

"I'm so sorry, Jess. I'll drop you home first thing in the morning." He shook his head. "I was just lost in thought and I completely forgot –"

"Nick, shut up, it's fine." She laughed as she undid her seatbelt and got out of the car.

* * *

Jess was physically exhausted as Nick unlocked the door to the loft. She was swaying side to side as she leaned down to undo her shoes, almost falling over in the process. He jumped to grab her before she tumbled and she let off a hollow laugh.

"Staying out late is hard when you're a grandma." She giggled as he took over taking her shoes off.

He laughed softly, suddenly realising that he was no longer the confident guy at the party. Not with just the two of them standing there alone, anyway.

"Let me get you some clothes, Jess." His voice was all raspy and serious now, the way the two of them kept swapping between personalities made her raise an eyebrow.

He returned to his bedroom to see her looking at the photos on the wall by the tv that she had put there a few years ago.

"I left you a shirt on my bed, Jess."

She flashed him a soft and nostalgic smile.

"Thanks Nick."

On his bed she found one of his flannels. Her favourite flannel. The one she would wear all the time when they were together. It brought a smile to her lips and butterflies to her stomach. _Damn him._ She thought.

He was sitting on the couch with the tv on quietly when she came into the lounge room. He swallowed hard at the woman in front of him. She looked so small and perfect in his shirt, hair hanging lazily over her shoulder. That look was _exactly_ what had always drove him crazy.

Taking a seat next to him and pulling her legs up underneath her, she looked to the coffee table.

"Is this for me?" She looked at the hot cup of tea and then to him, but his eyes were focussing way too hard on the tv, probably on purpose.

"Uh, yeh, I wasn't sure if that was still a bedtime tradition for you." He stuttered a little, still not looking at her.

"You know me too well, kind sir." She said in a funny voice as she sunk back into her spot on the couch and began sipping away.

Not even five minutes after she had put her tea down, she was fast asleep in front of him. He stopped for a minute. Taking advantage of the judgement free opportunity he had to look at her. Before standing up and scooping her into his arms.

She squirmed a little, but this was a technique he had mastered when she would wait up for him to finish work in the old days.

Taking her to his bed, he pulled back the sheets and lowered her gently, tucking her in softly.

As he wandered to the door and turned off the lights he heard her shuffle.

"Nick, where are you going to sleep?" She mumbled almost impossible to understand.

He thought hard for a second because that was a great question. Where was he going to sleep? Jess and Schmidt had both taken their beds with them.

"On the couch, Jess." He said, his voice almost a whisper.

"Nooooo." She moaned, rolling over to face his position at the door. "Don't be dumb. You can sleep here."

He hesitated for a second before deciding it was best not to argue… the couch was uncomfortable, he convinced himself… plus, as Schmidt said, he had to take his opportunities seriously.

"If you're sure that's okay?" He kind of phrased it like a question as he slipped out of his jeans casually and began to unbutton his shirt.

He considered getting a shirt out of his drawer but he opted against it. It was hot, he thought. Plus, he knew jess loved it when she could cuddle up to this bare skin.

He pulled back the sheets and slid in quietly, almost sure she had gone back to sleep but proven wrong when she moaned and rolled into him. Her hand instantly finding his chest and her leg unconsciously tangling within his.

"You're so warmmmm." She mumbled into his arm and he let off a chuckle, her hand bobbing up and down with every breath he took. Tired Jess was as messy as drunk Jess.

"Stop being a jerk and cuddle me." He laughed again but couldn't resist, sliding his arm underneath her body and pulling her impossibly closer.

"You're the bestest friend ever." She giggled as she drifted back off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 9

**This is 100% pure and unnecessary fluff. Read at your own risk.**

* * *

It was around 10am the next morning when Winston called out towards Nick's room.

"Nick, did you wanna go – holy shit." Winston's eyes went wide as he walked into Nick's bedroom to see Nick spooning Jess, both of them still fast asleep.

Nick opened his eyes and gave them a rub, careful not to disturb Jess who was sleeping peacefully beside him.

"What's up Winston?" Nick mumbled tiredly, seemingly un phased that he was currently cuddled up with his ex.

"Uhhhh, am I missing something?" Winston asked quietly.

Nick looked down to Jess, rubbing gently up and down her arm to ease her out of her sleep.

"Jess and I were out late last night so she just crashed here." She turned around sleepily to face him, arms stretching out in a big yawn.

"But are you two like… together again?"

Jess squinted her eyes and tapped Nick's slightly scruffy cheek a couple of times before sitting up and looking to Winston.

"I almost came and bunked with you, Winnie." Jess laughed, blowing off how serious Winston was right now. "I packed up my bed. Where else did you want me to sleep?"

"Uh I don't know Jess, on the couch? At your apartment?"

"If you've got a problem my man, just say it." Nick ran a hand down his face again, looking at Winston expectantly.

"Actually, I kind of support it." Winston shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't expect it, but I support it." And with that he headed back towards the kitchen.

"I'm going out, Nick." He called behind him. "I'll no doubt see you soon, Jess."

Jess picked up her phone to check the time before falling back onto her pillow and facing Nick.

"It's 10am" She laughed as their eyes stayed casually locked.

The mood shift was weird. It was like last night, their closeness, had diffused the tension. They laid together all night but it was different. Not sexual. And they both were awfully comfortable to just lay there for a while.

"What are you doing today?" he asked lazily with a small smile on his face.

"I suppose I should do some shopping." She sighed. "You?"

"I think my golf partner just left, so I'm all yours."

She laughed and turned onto her back, looking up at the roof, she spoke in a witty kind of tone.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realise I had just invited you to come with me."

"Oh, sorry." He replied mockingly. "I didn't realise you had another way of getting home."

She laughed, rolling her eyes as she felt his smile burn into her cheeks.

"Looks like we're going shopping!" She turned her head to meet his eyes, with a sweet, puppy dog smile on her lips.

* * *

Nick tied a towel around his waist and looked in the mirror. He still had little droplets of water on his shoulders and in his hair and if he knew anything about the woman who was standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast, it was that with some basic hygiene, she found him 'smoking hot'.

He took a deep breath as he approached the bathroom door. _This is how Schmidt got the model._ He thought to himself.

"Hey Nick, you're cool with scrambled, ri-" Jess's jaw dropped a little as she took him in. "Nick…" She drew out his name like she always did when she could tell he was up to something. "Did you forget your clothes?"

"Nope." He smirked, walking around the bench to where she was leaning over the fry pan, still swimming in his flannel.

"Well, I mean, w-what are you doing?" She stuttered as she took a step back with every step he walked forward.

"I'm confused." He said all too confidently.

"Me too…" She mumbled almost incoherently. Her back hitting the fridge.

What had been a plan to seduce her, suddenly became way too entertaining. He was standing so close to her and she was freaking out, he couldn't help but let off a laugh, snapping her out of her trance.

"Nick!" She yelled, her serious tone was laced with humour as she pushed him back a little.

"If you want me to feed you, you will go and put some clothes on!" She laughed, having caught on to exactly what he was doing.

"I almost had you." He winked at her, before disappearing back into his room.

* * *

They stopped off at Jess's apartment so she could freshen up and get a change of clothes and soon after they had arrived at the mall.

The car trip was nice. Jess had sung along to the radio as Nick had stolen occasional glances. It was so perfect for him. More than the kissing or even the really good sex, this was what he craved most from her. This raw Jessica Day that he once got to share what felt like unlimited time with. He had learnt to cherish every single moment of Jess just being Jess.

They had wandered around for a little while, window shopping and browsing casually. Not even saying much, just enjoying how natural it felt for them to be in a comfortable silence.

Jess was looking at some cute, summer dresses, so he followed her around, pointing to funny looking ones and commenting on how she should try them on. She just laughed and rolled her eyes. They were in a really good place.

When it came to Jess trying her chosen dresses on, Nick took a seat outside of her dressing room, waiting patiently for her to model them.

"Hey Nick?" Jess mumbled through the curtain.

"Yeh, Jess, whats up?" He stood up as she poked her head around.

"Zip?" She said, holding the curtain open for him to slip inside.

It was a tight space and she was almost naked in front of him, but he pulled himself together and zipped her up, spinning her around to look at him.

"Well look at you." He said with a big smile.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes and walked outside of the change rooms, spinning around in the mirror.

"Seriously, Jess, you look awesome." She looked up at him sarcastically, trying to keep the smirk off of her face.

"I told you, Nick, that compliment has lost all value coming from you." He laughed and sat back down next to an older lady who was sitting waiting for her daughter.

"What a lovely couple." The lady turned to Nick with a smile.

Jess turned to the lady and then looked at Nick, who was sitting there smug as hell.

"Oh, we're not a couple." Jess said, eying Nick with a smirk.

"Oh! My mistake!" The lady looked taken back as she continued. "You just seemed…"

"She's wayyyy out of my league." Nick said to the lady, but gave Jess a flirty wink. She couldn't help but laugh, rolling her eyes and closing the curtain behind her.

* * *

They had some lunch at the food court and Jess ordered for Nick because that was how it always went.

As they ate, they chatted about what was planned for the rest of the day, he hinted at how he had no plans and Winston was working the night shift so he was going to be bored.

"If you want to come over for dinner, Nicholas, just ask?" Jess laughed as he studied her face with a smile.

"Cool, I'll be there." He said, stealing a chip from her plate.

She couldn't help the smile on her face. They were just being throwback, flirty Nick and Jess and she couldn't remember a time she felt this happy. Ever since the break up all those years ago, it was like their relationship would never be the same, but here they were, flirting effortlessly in the middle of the shopping centre. No expectations from either. Just enjoying each other's company.

* * *

Next they were in the supermarket.

"Any specific dinner requests?" She turned to him as he pushed the trolley along beside her.

"Uhhhh mac and cheese."

"You're an easy man to please, Mr Miller." She said as she flicked her hair over her shoulder and continued ticking off her shopping list.

Turning up the junk food isle, Nick started to perk up a little. Jess was focusing hard on the items on the shelf before she turned to see Nick had added a whole heap of stuff to her trolley.

"Nick!" She turned around and stopped in front of him. Face in a frown. "I live in a healthy household. In my house, we do not eat toaster waffles and tootsie rolls."

"Well, Miss Day, some things are about to change, aren't they?" Nick said with a smirk.

"Absolutely not." She said sarcastically. Her face still particularly pissed off. "Take it out of the trolley right now."

"No." Nick said, the smile on his face stopping him from matching her expression. He had really missed getting her all revved up like this. There was 'fighting' with Jess, which involved a ton of pent up sexual tension being released into a screaming match and then there was this kind of fighting. Where Nick acted like such a pain in the ass that eventually Jess just started laughing.

"Well then, looks like you're making your own dinner, buddy." She said, turning around with a stomp and walking off in front of him.

"Cool, I'll make my toaster waffles at your place?"

"Shut up." She walked ahead, attempting to hide her laughter.

"Honestly, Nick, I forgot how much shopping with you is like shopping with a toddler."

He threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side as he kept pushing the trolley with a smile plastered on his face.

"I forgot how much fun it was to go shopping with you, Jessica."

* * *

Jess was in the shower and Nick was sitting in front of the TV, beer in hand and feet up on the table. This was already like a second home for him and he had been here, what? Three times?

The thought made him chuckle. Jess was home for him.

Noseying through her recorded shows, he came across almost the entire season of the walking dead, recorded but unwatched. He chuckled as he scrolled through the episodes, shaking his head, he came up with a plan.

* * *

Jess walked out of the shower in a cute little pair of pyjamas. Nothing special, just a little extra skin showing than usual.

"Nick, what the hell?" She stopped in her tracks when she saw he had dragged her mattress out in front of the television, along with all her pillows and blankets.

"Jess, tell me more about those walking dead episodes you were up to date on?" He said pretending to be curious, even though he already knew she hadn't watched them.

"Okay." She pursed her lips and looked guilty. "So maybe I googled what happened."

He pulled that annoying face he always used when she was wrong and she felt like slapping him.

"It's scary, Nick! You know I hate watching it by myself." Her tone was whiny and full of excuses. He just laughed and shook his head.

"Guess what we're watching tonight!" He said excitedly as he wandered out of the kitchen with a plate full of food.

"Oh my god, Miller, did you cook your stupid toaster waffles?" She was smiling now. Pretending to be mad was too hard with him.

"You bet I did. Get comfy, ma' lady." He said as he gestured for her to hop on the mattress as he walked over to dim the lights.

* * *

They watched the show until just after midnight, Jess cuddled up into his side, her arms squeezing the crap out of his arm whenever something scary happened.

"Jess, you're not even watching it." He nudged her with a chuckle, her head turned into his shoulder.

"I can hear it, Nick, hearing is enough to know how scary it's." She peaked away from his arm for just a second before another scary scene came on, causing her to slam her head back.

To make matters worse, a thunderstorm had begun outside, every lightning strike causing the whole room to go bright.

Nick leaned his head down to hold a kiss to the top of hers. He couldn't imagine a better time to show off his masculinity. Thunderstorm and scary show on the television. He couldn't help but laugh at how he wished college Nick could have taken notes from a night like this.

* * *

Nick had gone to turn the tv off when the episode was coming to a close but Jess sat up and stopped him.

"One more?" She looked at him pleadingly.

She didn't even care for the show, but now she was scared he was going to leave her alone so she needed any excuse.

"It's so late Jess, c'mon, I should be heading home." He was teasing her now, knowing damn well she hated being alone during thunderstorms.

He kissed her cheek as she gave him a pout, folding back the blankets and hopping off the mattress. She followed behind him.

"I'll move your bed back in." He gave her a smile while she stood there looking tired and grumpy.

"Leave it Nick, please."

"It's heavy though, Jess, I don't want you to hurt yourself if I leave you to do it." He knew he was pissing her off but he wanted to hear her ask him to stay.

"Nicholas, don't be an asshole." She stomped over to the kitchen, pulling out two mugs and boiling the kettle.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jess?" He couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips.

"Oh, no, I don't need a tea, thanks. I'm gonna head off." He walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug, wrapping her up tightly and gently pushing her head to his chest. She didn't respond. Standing there all stroppy and grumpy, she refused to play along with his joke.

"Was good to hang out, Jess." He felt her pushing on his stomach and he began to laugh again.

"That's cool, Nick, leave. Leave me alone after forcing me to watch a scary movie in the dark while there is a friggen cyclone going on outside." She was pissed off now. Arms folded in front of her.

"Wait, you want me to stay the night?" He said with a smirk.

"Nope, do whatever you want. Go. I don't care. I can protect myself."

"I mean, I can stay if you want, Jess." He had her backed up against the kitchen bench, just like he had that morning, but this time she was staring at him with her eyebrows furrowed, rather than filled with lust.

Moving in closer the smile grew on his face.

"You just have to say the words, Jess."

She looked into his eyes for a moment. Contemplating using the power she had over him to her advantage, to swing the mood a little in her direction. But she opted out. Placing her hand on his face and pushing him back, she filled both of the mugs with hot water, passing one to him, who was still standing smugly with a grin.

"Please stay." She sighed, without meeting his eyes and his smile softened.

"You're such a wuss, Jess!" Nick laughed, noticing she was still serious. "I'm not going anywhere."

He locked the front door and turned the lights back down.


	11. Chapter 10

**I totally plagiarised a scene from 'The Ugly Truth' here (just kidding it's nothing like it but it inspired me a little). Go watch the movie if you want. You will get more enjoyment out of it than this fic.**

* * *

Weeks go by and they're practically inseparable.

Nick spent most of his time at Jess's, his excuse being that it was always boring at the loft when Winston and Aly were working so much. They both knew it was definitely not the real reason behind it, but neither said a word. Jess had grown to enjoy having someone to cuddle up to at night and he had just enjoyed her.

It had truly slipped back into an all too familiar groove between the two of them.

Jess would leave the door open for him when he finished late at the bar, that was, if she hadn't spent the entirety of his shift sitting across from him. She would be the first person he texted when something interesting happened in his day. Even if nothing happened, they checked in with each other all the time.

But the one thing that hadn't changed over the past few weeks, was that line that Jess had clearly drawn between them. That line that Nick passionately hated. The line that meant there was a such thing as too much PDA or too many flirtatious comments. Jess had made it clear to him that the line was not to be crossed, no matter how hard Nick pushed.

He wasn't worried though. He was just enjoying the time with her, his best friend. Plus, he knew eventually he could break her down.

* * *

One afternoon, Nick was lying flat out on the couch in Jess's apartment, flicking between channels while sipping away at his beer.

Jess had left to go shopping with Cece a few hours earlier but that hadn't phased him at all. He appreciated being able to watch the game without her constant desperation for conversation.

She walked through the door at about quarter to five, hands full of shopping bags.

"Nick?" She laughed as she put the bags down and walked to the end of the couch where his feet were. "You are literally in the exact same spot as when I left."

"It's my day off, Jess!" He sat up a little. "Oh and I recorded like five of the scariest movies ever, so I was gonna pull the mattress out and –"

"Tonight?" she drew out the word in a kind of high pitched and awkward way, causing Nick to squint his eyes and sit up even further.

"I mean, unless you have, other plans, tonight, Jess?" He got up and slowly walked around to sit on the arm of the chair in front of her suspiciously.

"Umm, actually, Nick, I have a date." She couldn't say it to his eyes, so instead, she focused on his feet. Pointed straight at her.

As soon as she said it his heart started to beat harder in his chest, his mouth started to go dry and he felt like his lungs might just explode. But she wasn't his. He knew this could happen. In fact, he knew this _would_ happen. But he had hoped with every ounce of love he had for that woman that he would get his chance before some other loser did. They had grown so incredibly close but that still didn't mean he had a right to hold a grudge. He just had to be grateful that he got a chance to spend time with her before she found someone better.

He took a moment, eyes fixed on her, swallowing hard and regaining focus. At the end of the day, she was still his best friend and he still had to be there for her.

"Jessica Day is going on a date?" He tried to sound enthusiastic and that made her shoulders move up and down in the slightest chuckle. Eyes still focused on their feet.

"Who's the lucky guy?" He said a little more quietly now, still embracing whatever was left of confident Nick Miller.

Looking back up at him, she bit her top lip for a moment, searching his eyes.

"It's so stupid." She blushed a little. "A guy bumped into me at the grocery store the other day and I dropped all of my stuff. As we were picking it up we got chatting a bit and he asked me out." Now was her turn to swallow hard, while he forced his lips together in half smile, an attempt to convince her it was fine.

Guilt was plastered all over her face and then he felt bad that she felt bad.

"Good for you, Jess." He smiled.

She didn't even know what to say at this point. She didn't know how she had expected Nick to act, but it definitely wasn't like that. Maybe she thought he would get angry, yell that she had been leading him on her something. But this Nick made her almost forget why she hadn't got rid of that magical line keeping them from getting back together. She had made a deal with herself that she would make herself move on and she was sticking to that promise.

"Show me what you bought!" He shook her from her thoughts and she was kind of relieved, his tone had gone from sensitive Nick back to normal Nick in a matter of seconds.

Laughing a little more confidently, she grabbed the bags and gestured for him to sit down.

"Oh you're gonna die." She said excitedly as she peaked inside.

* * *

Around ten minutes later she came out in a short, fitted black dress. It was simple and minimalistic, but it showed off every centimetre of every curve and oh boy was she right. He could have sworn he had died.

She gave him a smile and turned around.

"Okay Jess, this is called teasing." He shook his head eyes wide as he stood up to walk over to her.

"What the hell. Who knew you had that under those pyjama sets?" He laughed, gesturing her to spin around again.

"Shut up." She looked at him with a sassy expression on her face. "You've seen me naked like a thousand times."

"Yeh, but I had to earn it! This guy ran into you at the supermarket and gets to sit in front of this all night?" He gestured up and down her body as she was trying to hide her smile, rolling her eyes as she walked into the kitchen and began boiling the kettle.

"I don't even know what I'm doing, Nick." She got out two mugs, putting a tea bag in both because apparently Nick likes her tea now.

"Is Jessica Day nervous to go out with grocery store guy?" Nick laughed leaning on the bench across from her.

"I haven't been on a date in like, a thousand years! I don't even know how to act in front of a male anymore." She said, slamming the spoon she was holding onto the table.

"Should I be offended?" He laughed and she rolled her eyes, yet again.

"It's different with you. I'm comfortable, you know? Your version of flirting is like, trying to piss me off. Not like, sexual but entertaining." She had a smirk on her face as she said it, knowing that little comment would get under his skin. She was aware that she was stretching the truth a little, his flirting definitely turned her on. "I don't even know this guy. I don't know how to flirt with other people?"

"Wait, wait, wait." He faced his palms to her as he walked around the bench towards her. "Did you just trash my flirting abilities?" He was getting closer and closer to her as she bit her bottom lip as to challenge him a little, not letting her eyes leave his.

"Oh babe." She pouted her lips. "We all have things we're not particularly good at." She couldn't help but laugh. He was standing so close to her now but she didn't give in, keeping that confident look in her eye.

"Jessica, Jessica, Jessica." His voice had gone kind of low and raspy as he placed each hand on the bench, one on each side of her hips.

"From the start with us, it's been like, this funny banter you know? We never really had to do the whole process of getting to know each other." She tried to talk her way out of whatever this situation was leading to, but when he let off one of those sexy chuckles he sometimes did the smirk on her face had quickly began to fade to a little more serious.

"Do you remember?" He paused for a minute, licking his lips ever so slightly and letting off a chuckled. "Do you remember, when you first moved into the loft, Jess?" The way he said her name sent a shiver through her body.

"Yeh." Her voice was suddenly unrecognisable as she focussed on that look he had in his eye.

"When you first walked through those doors, I remember turning to Schmidt and saying 'no fucking way, will I be able to live with this woman.'" He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You know why I said that, Jessica?" He raised his eyebrows a little as he watched her breathing began to get a little shakey. She shook her head, in fear of talking again.

"Because Jessica Day, you are the hottest woman I have ever seen, I mean, first of all, your body," He let a hand leave the table to find her hip, ever so gently. Her body flinching at his touch, but her eyes still locked to his. "Well, I mean, you know what I think of your body." He began to slide his hand up slowly, riding every curve with the softest touch, until he got to her chin, where he tilted her head up a little, moving his thumb to run across her bottom lip. He watched her swallow and blink slowly. _Keep it together, Miller._ He reminded himself.

"And those eyes. God, Jess, you know I think you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." He let his hand open up a little to ever so gently touch her face. His eyes squinting a little to take in her eyes even more.

"But you wanna know the real reason, Jess?" His voice was so scratchy and quiet now, almost a whisper. She didn't know how much longer she could hold it together.

His head was getting closer and closer to hers and he was letting his eyes go back and forth from her lips, but she was too dead set stuck in that trance to do anything about it.

Their lips were almost touching when he spoke again.

"The real reason, Jess, is that you're a…" He paused again, a slight smile coming over his lips, but their faces were so close she could barely see it. "You're a sucker." He burst out laughing as she closed her eyes and snapped her hand to her face, finally realising how hot and flushed she must have looked.

"I hate you!" She laughed all whiney as she let her hands find his chest in attempts to push him away. "You are the worst, Nick Miller." She was shaking her head and they were both laughing and then his face turned serious again, her body still trapped against his.

He swallowed hard. Now he was nervous.

"Don't go on the date, Jess." Her laughter settled and a curious smile fell on her lips. She turned her head a little to the side.

"Give me one good reason not to." She said, not really sure where this was going.

He clenched his teeth together and pursed his lips for a moment.

"Because I'm in love with you."


	12. Chapter 11

**So before you go on, I just wanna say a couple of thankyou notes because seriously, you can't do this multichapter shit alone.**

 **First of all, to my (vitamin d loving) soulmate, Lauren. (tumblr: Zooeyslaychanel). For someone who can barely speak english, you have some pretty fricken great ideas. Seriously, the best parts of this fic came from her brain. Plus, you didn't abandon me even though writing this meant we hadn't watched greys in ages. You're seriously the best.**

 **Once again, to Trueblue988 for being my dirty co-writer. The stars literally brought us together for the pure purpose of fic collaboration. Now this is finally over, I can catch up to your ass on Cheers.**

 **To Lorde for inspiring the title. You're a boss ass bitch and I love Melodrama with my entire heart (here's me talking like she's actually reading this ness fic).**

 **To all my roomfriends out there, ya'll are literally the best and I'm going way too overboard for a small note section of a 10 chapter fic.**

 **Here's to a bigger and better season 7!**

 **callmelauramiller**

* * *

"What?" her eyes went big and the smile fell from her lips, hands still flat on his chest.

"Come on, Jess, as if it's not completely obvious. I mean, I don't really think I ever stopped loving you."

"No, you don't mean that, Nick. You're just- you're." She was mumbling now, talking faster and faster, her hands getting firmer on his chest.

"I promise you, I've never been more sure of anything in my life." He said the words with a low chuckle, feeling more and more confident with how well his words were working together. He let his hands find her wrists, trying to relieve the force of her push a little.

She swallowed hard. Prying her wrists from his grip she walked away, facing away from him. But he followed her.

"You have to go." She took a moment before turning to face him, a sad but sure look in her eyes.

"Jess, can't we just –"

"No Nick!" Her eyes were filling with tears. "I told you from the start, this can't happen. I made it clear, I didn't want this to happen." She was almost yelling now.

"What about what I want, Jessica? Think about what you wanted when I was with Raegan. If I knew then, Jess. If I hadn't been such a jerk and opened my eyes to what was right in front of me. Things would have been so different right now. If I had known, then. But I didn't. And I can't take that back. But I can tell you, I love you and I wish you would just let me." His voice was so pained.

She let the tears flow as she heard every inch of him in his words. She'd only felt him like this once. That day when they broke up all those years ago. And it made her remember how bad that day felt. How she never ever wanted to feel that kind of pain again.

And in his eyes, at that very minute, she remembered. This was why they couldn't do it. They loved too hard and too deep and they let themselves hurt each other. Her mind kept telling her it wasn't healthy. It was an endless cycle.

"I'm so sorry." She shook her head over and over, her eyes puffy, filled with tears and her heart aching. "I can't sit here and watch us kill each other all over again."

* * *

There was a knock at Jess's door a couple of days later and she had secretly hoped it was him. She wanted to fight with him because at least that meant they were talking.

But when she opened the door to a sympathetic looking Cece, she wandered back to the couch and slumped herself down to her original position.

"What's going on?" Cece followed behind her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Jess said as she continued skipping through channels on the television.

"So tell me this, Jess. How come when I saw Nick at the bar last night and asked him how you were, he replied he was about to ask me the same thing?" Jess continued refusing to look at Cece, replying with little interest in the conversation.

"I don't know, Cece, I guess you both wanted to know how I was?" Cece grabbed the remote from her hand and turned the tv off, causing Jess to let off a huff sound.

"Did Nick do something bad?" the concern was so clear in Cece's voice that it made Jess turn to face her.

"No! I mean, yes, well, kind of." Jess started nervously stuttering as soon as she saw Cece's gaze intensify. "He told me he loved me."

Cece looked confused for a moment. A slight smile coming over her lips.

"And tell me Jess, why that's a bad thing?"

"I told you from the start! There's no more Nick and Jess. I want someone who sees the rest of their life with me. Nick only thinks temporary. I mean he said it himself, we will never 'get together'."

"Come on, Jess. You're the only one Nick has ever truly loved. You're in denial about this whole thing. It's because you're scared. You love him so much that you're scared to even try in fear that you won't make it." Cece reached out and grabbed Jess's hand.

"I know I'm scared." Jess mumbled. "But I'm telling you, it can't be worth it. That pain I felt when we broke up, hell, the pain I felt every time he was with Raegan, I can't give myself the chance to feel like that again."

"You love him, Jess. You need to let yourself admit that."

* * *

That night one of the biggest storms LA had ever seen rolled along the city. As it began to get dark, more and more areas were recording power outings, the only light being that from the sky.

Nick turned over in bed. He hadn't really managed to get himself out of it since their fight the other day. Was it even a fight? He wasn't sure if maybe it was more of an ending.

But as the thunder clapped down and shook the entire loft, all he could think about was Jess, sitting up in her bed, alone and terrified. The constant replay of their argument had been pushed out of his head, and instead, it had been filled with the need to hold her and protect her.

* * *

A half an hour later, there was a knock at her door that shook her out of her tears. She had been sobbing in her bed, candles covered the apartment. She wasn't even sure what she was crying about. Sure, the storm outside was horrific and she had jumped at every sound of thunder. But she couldn't use that excuse for the last few days of doing the same thing.

She turned the torch on her phone to high, sliding out of bed she tip toed towards the front door and the knock came again.

She stared for a moment until she heard a voice.

"Jess, it's just me." His voice was kind of quiet and hesitant but she had never been happier to hear it. She opened the door and saw him standing there in his jeans and a hoodie, hair a mess like he had come straight from bed. She had never felt more relieved in her life.

He took her in. She was so small and vulnerable in that moment, it made his knees feel weak. He could only just see her face enough to be able to tell her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were stained with tears.

"Hi Nick." Her voice was so shakey and soft and he knew it was taking everything she had to not breakdown right in front of him.

"Come here." He said, shutting the door and pulling her in to his chest.

Her hands grabbed his shirt so tight as she forced her head into his chest. His hand found her hair as he supported her body, all of her weight leaning into his as he felt his shirt become wet from her tears.

They stayed there for a little while, until her tears had settled. He continued to run his hand gently up and down her back and she had never felt safer in her whole life.

"Nick, I-" She broke the silence, talking into his chest.

"Shhhh." He interrupted her, pulling her back so he could see her eyes. "We don't have to talk about it right now, okay?"

She closed her eyes and nodded, her body threatening to cry again but knowing there were no tears left.

He let his thumb run under her eyes. Wiping away the tears from her cheeks.

"Can we go..." Her voice was broken up in sobs. "To bed now?"

He looked at her for a minute, taking in the whole situation. They had just had a fight that had threatened to end their entire six years. They hadn't talked to each other in 3 days. They were standing in an almost pitch black apartment. But they were still Nick and Jess and no matter what, he would do anything for this woman.

"Let's go to bed, Jess." He said as he grabbed her hand and lead her to the bedroom. Pulling back her side of the covers he helped her in, tucking the blankets around her arms and tucking her hair behind her ears.

He pulled off his shoes and moved to the other side of the bed. Sliding under the covers he found her not even giving him a chance to settle before she was already in his arms. Head back in his chest and arms trapped between their bodies.

Just as he could feel her drifting off to sleep, she mumbled into his chest.

"I love you too."

* * *

The next morning, Nick woke up alone in the bed.

He wandered out to the living room and Jess was no-where to be seen. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out the envelope that had been scrunched up and slept on. Straightening it out, he placed it on the kitchen bench and left the apartment.

* * *

Jess was running from her problems. She knew it. But more than anything she just needed to get out of the house. Get away from him for a moment or two. Take a walk and clear her mind.

She had told him she loved him and she knew it wasn't a lie. She was sure of that much. But she hadn't worked out what she wanted to do with that knowledge.

Stepping back into her apartment, she hadn't expected him to be there. She knew he would have probably been upset and left angry. She deserved it.

She walked to the kitchen and found the envelope. 'Jess' was written across the middle in his hand writing and her heart jumped at what it might be.

Imagining the worst, she tore it open to find an official looking, computer typed document with a post it note attached to the top.

 _Jess,_

 _I wanted you to see this. It's the blurb for the second part to my book._

 _I wrote it for you._

She swallowed hard and placed the note on the table, taking a seat on one of the stools, she began reading.

Julius Pepperwood was a hero.

He was brave and strong and successful.

But those things meant nothing without _her,_

the woman that he loved, his best friend, Jessica Knight.

But it wasn't until he lost her that he realised,

he needed her more than she needed him.

This story is about Julius Pepperwood's biggest fight yet.

But it isn't about zombies or aliens.

This is a story about his fight to win back the woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

This is about Julius finding his forever.

* * *

Jess knocked twice and before her hand hit the door again, it swung open.

Holding up the envelope with a concerning smirk on her face, she walked through the door.

"I mean; some parts are a little wordy." She turned to face him, leaning on the back of the couch.

"Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow and walked towards her a little, stopping before he got too close. "Anything else you'd like to add, Jessica?"

"Oh, I have a couple of things actually. First of all, what made Pepperwood realise? She was there the whole time, so why did he take so long?"

Nick laughed. Okay. They were playing this game.

"I think; Pepperwood was scared of Jessica Knight. He'd never experienced love like that, you know? It was different with her. Terrifying and overwhelming."

She nodded, looking down at her feet.

Silence filled the room for a moment as she stepped forwards. Closing the gap with every movement.

"Just one more thing, Nick." Now she was right in front of him. Voice just above a whisper. Eyes locked together. "How does it end?"

He swallowed. Deepening the gaze. Barely a breath between their faces.

"How it should have ended the first time."

* * *

 **I might get to an epilogue one day in the next century. I know I'm a bitch but it would have just been weird to not end on that line.**


End file.
